“Female friendships are very different from male friendships. And they are extremely important for our health.” These words were spoken by the iconic actress Jane Fonda on CBS Sunday Morning. “Men often stand shoulder to shoulder, watching sport, cars or women, whilst women sit face to face, eye to eye, and say: ‘I’ve got a problem, I need you, can you help me?’ We’re not afraid to be vulnerable.”
And this is precisely where something much deeper than mere ‘friendship’ lies. It is the space where you can allow yourself to be genuine. Without roles and without masks. When you sense that the person opposite you is genuine, the ego slips away. There is no longer any need to appear stronger than you feel.
It’s not just about conversations
Female friendship isn’t just long chats about make-up over coffee or cocktail nights until 4 in the morning (well, sometimes that’s the perfect complement). It’s the kind of relationship where a “How are you?” isn’tjust a routine, obligatory question when you bump into an acquaintance. It actually means ‘Tell me what’s really going on with you’. This is the person you text at 3 in the morning because you can’t sleep for thinking. The person who won’t give you a clichéd ‘it’ll be alright’, but will tell you the truth even when it’s uncomfortable. And they’ll stick by you, no matter what you’re going through.
In a world where everything happens quickly and is far too superficial, these connections are rare. And that’s exactly why they’re so precious.
Vulnerability isn’t a weakness, but a filter
Saying ‘I’m not OK’ isn’t easy. Especially when you’re used to coping on your own and your ego sometimes speaks before you do, without you even realising it. But female friendships exist precisely for this reason. They allow you to let down all your defences. When you’re vulnerable with the right person, you don’t lose control. On the contrary, you regain it. Because you’re no longer carrying the whole burden alone.
And this is where something truly important happens. You start to distinguish which people are truly ‘yours’. Not the ones you simply have a good time with, but the ones who stick around when you’re not at your best.
Not every friendship lasts forever, and that’s normal
One of the biggest misconceptions is that if a friendship ends, it means it wasn’t real. People change. Priorities do too.
There are friendships that are perfect for a particular stage of your life. School days, university, your first job. Then there are those that last. And if you’re lucky, they last a lifetime. Maturity comes the moment you stop trying to hold on to every relationship at any cost. And you start to appreciate those that grow alongside you.
When you feel you don’t need to watch how you express yourself or what words you use, because you know the person on the other side will understand you correctly. And even if they don’t, they’ll tell you straight out. Without leaving a bitter aftertaste of something left unsaid or unclear.
The women who build you up
True friendships aren’t dramatic. They’re stable. After meeting someone like this, you don’t go home feeling as though you’ve said something wrong or that you need to analyse every word. On the contrary, you feel lighter. These women don’t compete with you. They don’t belittle your achievements. They don’t make you doubt yourself. They support you, but they also hold you accountable. They’ll tell you the truth when you need to hear it, but they won’t hurt you with it. And most precious of all, they’re genuinely happy for you. And that’s much rarer than you think.
A message asking, ‘Have you got home yet?’ late at night. A phone call for no particular reason. ‘I’m proud of you’ when you need to hear it most. These things aren’t posted on social media, but they’re exactly what builds a sense of true closeness.
The invisible foundation
You may have a career, a relationship, plans and goals. But there’s something that often takes a back seat: emotional stability. It rarely comes from within alone. It’s often built by the people around you too. Female friendships are that invisible foundation. They are the place you return to when things get rocky. Where you don’t have to prove anything. Where you are accepted just as you are.
And most importantly, it’s not about the number of friends. You don’t need a large circle to feel connected. Sometimes, just one person who truly understands you is enough. Because, ultimately, female friendship isn’t just a part of your life. It’s one of the reasons you feel good about it.
Sometimes it might be two friends of the same age, going through similar life situations. Other times, it might be women with a significant age gap, who learn from one another and become better people. It could be two sisters, a mother and daughter, or a grandmother and granddaughter.
The most important thing, at the heart of it all, is to feel supported and loved. It is precisely these things that give us wings to fly.
