We all know the female orgasm exists, but the Big O isn’t as easily found as one would think. A study by Harvard showed that only one in four women experience orgasms during sex. So ladies, it’s time to stop worrying about what he likes and start figuring out what you like! If you want to know where to look for your next orgasm, here are some tips and tricks for some eye-rolling, toe-curling climaxes, it’s time you learnt all about female pleasure, it’s just as important as his pleasure (if not more).
What Is An Orgasm?
An orgasm is a feeling of extreme pleasure. When you have one – you’ll know it! Your heart beats faster, your breathing changes and you experience an intensely pleasurable release of sexual tension and endorphins.
How To Have More Orgasms
You may not be aware, but there is an inequality in orgasms! Compared with men, women are much less likely to experience orgasms. Men report orgasms in approximately 95% of sexual encounters, but for women, figures ranges from only 25 to 50 percent. Shockingly, 1 in 10 women have never had an orgasm.
This is because contrary to popular belief, vaginal penetration does not simply equal orgasms. Women need to be properly stimulated and aroused to reach a climax. There are pleasure points hidden all over our bodies, and they aren’t all placed neatly inside of us.
Erogenous Zones To Help You Orgasm
Erogenous zones are more than just the obvious pleasure points, they’re located all over your body, from head to toe. According to Monica from Friends, there are seven female erogenous zones, but there’s a few she forgot! Here’s 16 to get you started, try giving them some love to find your favourites.
The clit is a small pleasure bud containing over 8000 nerve endings. It’s one of the most sensitive spots, so start slow and gentle and gradually increase your tempo, pressure and speed. Experiment with different techniques and find some favourites.
The most famously elusive of spots is actually easy to reach! It’s walnut-sized and about 4-5cm deep, it requires a curved finger or vibrator angled upwards toward the navel. Try stroking it with a “come hither” motion, don’t worry you’ll know when you’ve found it!
Located along the front vaginal wall, usually 3-5cm deeper than the G-spot, so you may need the help of a vibrator or partner to reach it. Focus pressure on the front wall, while sliding in and out and it’ll have you A-roused in no time.
The triangular mound just above the clit, also known as the mons pubis. It’s important because it is filled with nerve endings. Massaging it and applying pressure can greatly increase your arousal and pleasure.
You need to be fully aroused to enjoy cervical stimulation, so foreplay is crucial. Any deep-penetrating like doggy-style will do it. When you find the depth and motion that feels good, keep going.
Stimulating your breasts lights up the same pleasure centres in your brain as your lady bits, so don’t neglect your nipples! Start gentle, try using feathers and ice, get your partner involved with their lips and tongue – experiment and explore, anything goes it’s all up to you.
Inner Arm & Armpits
Ticklish? Those are your nerves announcing themselves. All it takes is a light touch, to turn ticklish into tantalising. Experiment with grazing fingertips and feathers.
Navel & Lower Stomach
Being right on top of the G-spot makes this area especially arousing. Experiment with caresses, using feathers or ice, and applying pressure during penetration. Get your partner involved tracing circles and teasing you with their tongue.
This is an especially sensual spot and that much is commonly known. People usually pay a decent amount of attention to the front and sides of the neck, but many will forget about the back! To take full advantage of this erogenous zone, pull your hair up, and ask your partner to kiss all along your hairline. If you enjoy it a little more sensual, try experimenting by grazing lips, teeth or fingernails. Also try ice cubes and feathers if you’re looking for a tantric treat.
Fingertips & Palms
The fingertips are the part of the body that is most sensitive to touch, and the palms are not far behind! When your hands are interlocked with your partners, try tickling each other’s palms with your index fingers or spice it up and try some light sucking.
Filled with so many nerve endings, the slightest touch can send tingles down your spine. Try running your fingernails lightly over the scalp, paying special attention to the space behind the ears and above the neck. Amp up the pleasure with some gentle hair pulling or grabbing.
Mouth & Lips
Kissing is an intimate art form, and it shouldn’t be overlooked! Try caressing the outline with your fingertips or spice it up with some gentle sucking or nibbling.
As goes for all erogenous zones, it all up to your preferences, so get to experimenting and find the zones that trigger your groans.
Mastering Masturbation To Optimise Your Orgasm
Before you can tell someone what you like, you need to discover it for yourself, and there’s no better place to start with than masturbation. First get in the mood and try exploring your body, stimulating different erogenous zones and finding your favourite hot spots.
Once you know where you want to be touched, find out how you want to be touched. Try different techniques, experiment with vibrators and most importantly HAVE FUN!
If you aren’t comfortable enjoying some self-love, you are going to be tense when it comes to making love. Good sex starts with being aroused and educated, not anxious and edgy.
Types of Orgasms
There are many types of female orgasms: vaginal orgasms, clitoral orgasms, G-spot orgasms, cervical orgasms, anal orgasms, blended orgasms and multiple orgasms.
Vaginal orgasms are often mistaken as the simplest way to reach a climax, but it’s actually the most difficult. If you want to reach it, try stimulating other erogenous zones and trying some different angles and sex positions. Clitoral, G-spot, cervical and anal orgasms are the easiest to pull off, because the clitoris, G-spot, cervix and anus are typically the most sensitive erogenous zones.
If you want to get there fast and furious, then try the blended orgasm, which combines different erogenous zones to give you a big O that will have you curling your toes.
Having multiple orgasms is not a myth! Unlike men, women don’t experience a refractory period after climax, so don’t just settle for one, when you can have two! You can never have too many orgasms.
Why Orgasms & Female Pleasure Matters
The best gift you can give yourself is an orgasm! The benefits of good sex and great climaxes are endless, but here’s a list that explains why orgasms are so important.
- Orgasms release endorphins that relieve stress and elevate your mood.
- If you are an insomniac, a climax can release pent-up energy and help you get to sleep.
- Orgasms can help relieve and ease menstrual cramps.
- It’s a workout that improves heart health and strengthens endurance.
- Orgasms or “core-gasms” tighten your inner-thighs, core strength, pelvic floor and much more.
- Experiencing a true orgasm heightens your libido, so if you want to enjoy sex, have an orgasm.
The quickest way to achieve a healthier, more pleasurable sex life is through practicing self-love (discovering yourself through masturbation) and having loads of orgasms! You can have as many as you want to – so treat yourself to some TLC!
Tantric Tips & Tricks To Find Your Next Orgasm
Good sex starts with fantastic foreplay, if you aren’t properly aroused, sex can be painful. Experiment with some kinks and fetishes, try a little role play, test out different sexual positions and most importantly enjoy it!
If you’re not in the right mood or mindset, then you won’t reach any sort of climax, so make a playlist, light some candles and get frisky. Get comfortable with yourself and your partner, be open and honest with communication, and be fierce and fearless when telling him what you want, because honestly, he probably needs your help.
If you want to learn more ways to boost your libido and get you in the mood, click here.